Affirming therapy for ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and every relationship structure that doesn't fit a traditional mold. No explanation required.
ENM therapy — sometimes called polyamory therapy or ethical non-monogamy therapy — is relationship therapy designed for people living in, exploring, or questioning non-traditional relationship structures. That includes every structure built on honesty, communication, and consent: polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, kitchen table poly, parallel poly, solo poly, and more.
In ENM therapy, your relationship structure isn't a problem to be solved or a phase to grow out of. It's the starting point. The question isn't whether non-monogamy is right for you — it's how to navigate it with more honesty, security, and connection.
As a queer-identified therapist who built this practice specifically to serve ENM and queer communities, I approach this work without judgment and without an agenda. You don't have to spend our time together convincing me your relationship structure is valid. It is. What we're here to work on is what brought you in — the communication breakdown, the fear that won't quiet down, the moment something shifted. That's where the real work lives.
ENM therapy at Love Frequencies Collective is for anyone navigating consensual non-monogamy — regardless of where you are in that journey.
If your relationship structure doesn't have a name — you're still welcome here.
Whether you're brand-new to ENM or have been navigating non-monogamy for years, here are some of the areas we regularly work through in ENM therapy.
When one chapter closes and a new structure begins. We'll work through the feelings, fears, and practical questions that come with changing your relationship agreements — and make sure everyone's needs are part of the conversation.
Jealousy isn't an inherent sign that something is wrong — it's information. Like any other emotion, we look at what it's telling you and consolidate it with everything else. From there, we can start to make room for compersion, too.
Building agreements that reflect what you actually need — and knowing how to revisit and renegotiate them honestly when life changes, because it will.
Learning to talk about hard things — needs, fears, resentments, desires — without it turning into a cycle that leaves everyone feeling worse. ENM relationships often require more explicit communication than people expect, and that's a skill.
Navigating your relationships with partners' partners. Whether you're kitchen table poly or parallel poly, we can work on the communication and shared understandings that help everyone feel considered.
When an agreement has been crossed. Working through the hurt, understanding what happened, and — if it's right — rebuilding something stronger. This is some of the most important work there is.
Understanding the meaningful difference between betrayal and expansion — and doing the repair work when the line has been blurred or crossed without consent.
Maintaining connection and desire across multiple relationships, navigating how intimacy shifts when a structure changes, or rebuilding closeness after it's been strained.
Queerness and ENM often intersect in ways that deserve real attention. As a queer-identified therapist with specialized training in LGBTQIA+ relationships, I bring both to this work. If identity and queerness are central to what brings you to therapy, LGBTQ+ affirming therapy at Love Frequencies explores that work in depth.
Relationships evolve — and sometimes the structure itself needs to change. When a polycule shifts, a partner moves on, or an agreement stops working, therapy can help you navigate the transition with honesty and care for everyone involved.
A session typically starts with checking in — what's present for you, what came up since we last spoke. From there, we might work through a specific situation or dynamic, explore a pattern that keeps surfacing, practice new ways of communicating, or process emotions that feel stuck.
I use an attachment lens in all of my work, including ENM therapy. That means we look beneath the surface-level conflict — the argument about scheduling, the sting of jealousy, the silence after someone comes home from a date — to the underlying emotional needs and attachment patterns driving the disconnection. Emotions like jealousy aren't treated as problems to eliminate; they're information we work with to understand what's really happening and what's needed.
When working with triads or polycules, I typically work with one relationship at a time in the room — focusing on the specific bond between two people before zooming out. This mirrors how I work with all couples and relationship therapy: going deep on one connection at a time creates more lasting change than trying to manage everyone's dynamics at once.
Sessions are 50 or 80 minutes, available in person at my Mesa, AZ office or via telehealth anywhere in Arizona.
Book a free 15-minute video consultation and we'll figure out together what kind of support makes sense. Or if you'd prefer to send a message first, I'll get back to you within 24 business hours.
Book a Free ConsultationNot all therapists are trained — or willing — to work with non-monogamous clients without bias. Working with a therapist who isn't ENM-affirming can mean spending your sessions managing their learning curve, defending your relationship choices, or receiving guidance that subtly — or not so subtly — frames monogamy as the solution.
That's exhausting. And it completely misses the point.
As a queer-identified therapist, I understand the experience of building a life that doesn't fit a conventional mold. I built this practice specifically because I believe ENM and queer clients deserve a therapist who gets it — not one they have to educate first. I don't need you to justify your relationship structure. What I'm here for is the actual work — helping you communicate better, understand yourself and your partners more deeply, and build the kind of connection you came here for.
The issues that bring ENM clients to therapy aren't fundamentally different from what brings anyone to therapy: attachment fears, communication breakdowns, trust injuries, disconnection. What's different is that the structure requires more explicit negotiation, more ongoing conversation, and often more willingness to sit with difficult emotions. That's the work, and it's worth doing.
If you'd like to read more about my background and how I work, my story is on the Meet Kerstyn page. For books, podcasts, and community organizations focused on ENM and ethical non-monogamy, the resources page is a good starting point. I'll also be writing more about ENM, attachment, and relationships on the blog — check back soon.
Kerstyn Ludlow, LAMFT, MS
